Battles.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].

Ephesians 6:12

One week before my Baptism.. have come to a strange realization. This week has felt like I have been punched over and over. Feels like a war is going on within myself , as well as between the world I was once a part of and the world I now belong to.

We always tend to think of temptations in a sexual context. This week I have been tempted in more ways than one...

Tempted to resort to anger instead of turning the other cheek, tempted to abandon friendships that seemed too complicated, tempted to drink, tempted to resort to old ways, tempted to give up when challenges arised. All sorts of daggers have come my way. All sorts of soft temptations. I feel as thought darkness is desperately trying to win me back in any way possible.

I must admit, it is the strangest thing... to see...

I have also realized when reading Ephesians 6:12 .. those of this world, don't know better. How can I not forgive them for attacking me when they don't even realize what they are doing? I admit that they may do things maliciously.. but malice comes from sin.. and sin comes from evil. Is it not then darkness that commits all the evil in this world? I was there.. I didn't know.. I did not see. They just chose to follow.. not knowing any better.

Such a battle. Wow.

Just realized how trivial our day to day really is.. with every punch felt I received this week.. there was a much bigger battle going on.

Also realized that I don't need to retaliate anymore. My only focus should be on Jesus. Loving Jesus. The battles are fought for me.

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Ephesians 6:16-17