Westside had another beautiful gathering today. I was touched by the amount of people that attended, the newcomers as well as all the familiar faces. I feel a stir in our community and it's just beautiful. People growing, trusting, opening up..
Today Dave walked us through Matthew 15:1-20 and themed the gathering 'Inside=Outside'. It instantly brought me back to a blog I had written a while back.
http://crawlingthatway.blogspot.com/2008/02/who-am-i.html
I never really answered my own question. Read on.. you'll see why.
A few questions brought up today to ponder..
Who are you, really?
What is coming out of you?
People say that I am transparent. I do make a conscious effort to put my heart out there. I sometimes force myself to show the deepest corners of my heart. There is a freedom found when standing stripped, broken, heart in hand before the cross.
Who are you, really? is a very difficult question to answer. But I will try.... sigh...
Who are you, really?
I am a sinner. A true sinner - who still sins. In my day to day, I sometimes catch myself in idle gossip. Often, I bite my tongue because I am aware of it. Nonetheless the thoughts are there. I sometimes have the yearning to slander others because of the hurt they have caused me in the past. I sometimes want to see them fall and hurt as I have. But again I bite my tongue, I refrain. Nonetheless the thoughts are still there. I have fallen into sexual immorality.. now attempt to keep myself away from those situations. Nonetheless the thoughts are sometimes still there. I sometimes still fall into old ways, I sometimes still resort to anger. It is nowhere close to the rage I used to have. Nonetheless the thoughts are still there.
(I am not all evil! When I love, I love deeply and honestly. I am person that strives for integrity. I am a friend that will drop everything for you. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I am a child of God whose greatest wish is to have everyone see the light.)
Who are you, really?
I am a sinner. A true sinner - who still sins. I am a sinner equal to the murderers, adulterers, slanderers, cheaters and thieves. There are still dark corners in my heart. I don't wear a mask but I do restrain. There is a difference. What is on the inside is not always what comes out because, I watch my words, I guard my actions. I am not being fake but.. aware.
I am a sinner. A true sinner - who still sins. I am in no way perfect. I know it, I confess it. I ask that the Lord continue transforming me. I ask that He continue bringing my character to the place He intended.
This world, in the beginning, was meant to be paradise. Now.. we must live preparing for it.
I am a sinner. A true sinner - who still sins. I am a sinner that loves Jesus Christ with all her heart. I am a sinner that has been blessed with His love. A sinner that bows before the cross, thanking Him for his mercy.
Who am I, really?
I am a sinner. A true sinner -who still sins.
I am a sinner. A true sinner - who through God is being transformed.
I am a sinner. A true sinner -who through the crucifixion of Jesus Christ has been forgiven.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
nice thoughts Cindy. I like the fact that you also affirm, there's good in you - and all of us. It's not all bad.
have a great week
Thanks Dave. Was not a comfortable one to get out but I am happy I did..
And no.. it's not all bad.. and as I walk with God.. it will get even better.
Very transparent Cin...if we all could be so honest with ourselves and others. i agree with Dave...God has done amazing things in you and through you...and he will continue to. Hang on Girl...This is the ride of your life.
Well Cindy i am really blessed with a seal of love when i think about that you are my friend. I need a friend like you who has gone to those woods that are dark, so that i don't feel totally alone sometimes. Your boldness comes out and you may be doing it because of liberating yourself but it appears to us that we aren't alone inside. You may not know the bible backwards but i do know that you love him in your own special way lol.
Luke 7:47
Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
My friend.. I too am blessed to have a friend like you with whom I can share my thoughts, my worries and struggles ..haha and sometimes my 'wisdom' ;)
I don't know the Bible backwards because God has placed you in my life to be my concordance!!
Ok.. seriously now..
I cherish you as a friend and brother...through mud, fog, clear water and even your darkest valleys.
Love u!
Post a Comment