En Cuba encontre mi lugar.

I will attempt to write it all out.. it has taken me a few days to blog about my trip..because in only one week.. I have seen, realized and learnt so much..

I know that this is not your usual vacation. I understand that I took risks that many would not. Please understand that this who I am. It was something I truly had to experience.

and Wow... what an experience. To speak openly with people about their lives, challenges, hurts.. To attempt to 'infiltrate' an entirely different culture. To, for a moment, try to feel with them. I laughed, I cried, I got angry, I hoped, I prayed...


Cuba May 2008
As expected, I did encounter a few dilemmas at the airport.. but not because of the gifts I carried but more so because of how often I have travelled to Cuba in the past year. At customs, they asked me a slew of questions, especially..why I was coming to Cuba over and over again.. After explaining my love for the country, I was finally let through.. Then, I was stopped with my luggage and checked for drugs. (Completly understandable that they would assume that of a young woman who frequently travels alone to Cuba.)


I spent 2 days at the resort. My friend Joel met me there and also had a room for the nights we were there. As much as I wanted to experience Cuba, I wanted him to experience a vacation. I wanted to let him know what it was like to be on the other side.

We spent most of our days off the resort, walking through the streets of Varadero. We ate in Cuban restaurants, ate 'real' cuban food. I have fallen in love with an entree called Camarones - cold shrimp, ketchup and mayo! He even showed me the room he rents out from an elderly couple in a 'duplex' while he works in Varadero.

Honestly throughout this whole trip, I could not have asked for a better companion, guide. He understood exactly what I wanted out of this trip and made it a point to be as open and as honest as possible. If you have ever been to Cuba, you know that politics and Cubans sentiments about them are not usually something they like to discuss. I am so grateful that he let me into his world and shared his thoughts and feelings with me. He was a true gentleman and has become a very good friend of mine. He said.. no matter how poor... "When a gentleman walks into a room..everyone takes off their hat."

Almost everything he owns has been given to him by tourists.. boxers, deodorant, toothbrushes, clothing, shoes, socks. (Yes.. he showed me his closet).

The night before my birthday, he brought me to the amusement park in Varadero. As you know, I still don't drive... he brought me there for the bumper car ride! I have come to the realization that thoughfulness is priceless.


Now.. on to Havana..
May 21st.
I was given the choice of taking the bus to Havana as all tourists do or to get there 'Cuban style'. Obviously, I opted for the latter. So we jumped in a Cuban's car and headed to Havana. Joel made the mistake of speaking to me in english... the car stopped, the man panicked and told us to get out. You see, a Cuban cannot have a Canadian or any any tourist for that matter in their car.. for any reason whatsoever. Later, Joel and I discussed this. He told me that luckily I could pass for a Cuban because had I been blonde and blue eyed there is no way I could have experienced half of the things I did. A Cuban will be brought to the police station should he have a tourist in his car, sleeping in his home and sometimes even simply walking together on the street. They can be fined up to 1000$ which is more than one year's salary.

Imagine.. being restricted to whom you can be with..

He finally calmed down and we kept on with our journey to Havana. One hour away from Havana, in the town of Madruga, the car stopped.... and never revived. Now stuck on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.. I could imagine any of us.. in a state of panic.. grabbing our cell phone...cursing..calling up any friend to come pick us up.. or, still cursing...calling CAA. Looking back, although yes, there was frustration..they didn't panic. It amazes me. So..we waited by the side of the road and a car finally stopped an picked us up and drove us all the way to Havana. It was quiet ride for me - Joel had warned me to not say a word, nor in spanish nor in english.. It was a very quiet ride...especially after he advised me that we were in a government car!

At times, I would get a little stressed, for example when packing for Havana. We are so used to stress here that we seem to 'work with it'. It has become some sort of defense mechanism.. I have now realized it is counter productive. Joel could not understand it. I will from now on remember his words. "The energy you use for stress could be used fixing the problem. Stress clouds a part of your judgement which could have been used for another purpose."

Havana is where I saw the real Cuba. Joel and I spent three days, walking the streets, visiting friends and family. Talking with them. Seeing their homes.

On one specific day..we packed all the gifts in two big plastic bags and simply walked around and gave them out randomly. We went to a school for the mentally challenged and gave out baseball caps.. I will never forget one of the boys who kept coming up to us to show us his new red hat.

To see the look of confusion on a little girl's face as I gave her a teddy bear.. she looked up to her mother, not quite understanding.. her mother nodded and gave me the biggest smile. As they walked away.. the chiquitica looked back at me, smiled and held up her bear.

Many people we gave to reacted as though I had given them a brand new car... "Oh no..I cannot accept .." many said as we gave them a tshirt, some stockings, and toys for their children.

I will never forget seeing Joel, a man who does not own much, give with such joy. A man who does not own much, walking back to an elderly woman begging in an alley and giving her a peso. A man to whom little was given, who gives much.


I had expected to take many picture of the places I visited and the people I spoke with. But somehow, I did not want to 'put them on display'. I can't explain it... I just did not feel right taking pictures..

The homes I visited were impeccable, in complete ruins, but impeccable. Their clothes are spotless. They have little but the little they have, they cherish.
They wash their clothing in a basin with a brush and whatever detergent they may have..

Imagine not having running water at your leisure. The water for the shower and faucets runs for a few hours in the morning and that's it for the day. So, after showering in the morning, we collected water in water bottles and buckets for our shower at night.

Imagine not being able to flick through tv channels... many of us sit in front of our tvs 'surfing' complaining that "there is nothing on tv." ... Imagine having only 4 channels to choose from...

Imagine not having a seat on your toilet.. because you just can't afford one.

Imagine having to carry toilet paper with you where ever you go. Because it is so expensive.. there is no toilet paper in public washrooms.

I was without luxuries. But somehow, more content than ever. You quickly learn to appreciate the little things.

It is true, that the laws in Cuba are becoming a bit looser. Cubans are now allowed in hotels-but not always treated with as much respect. They can have cell phones (which are usually given to them by tourists). They are allowed computers - with restricted internet access. Nonetheless, I was told, there is this underlying fear, distrust of the upcoming changes. I was told that many things will be changing in Cuba within the next two years... and that not all change is good.

As I talked with people.. the hope I had once seen in Cuba seemed to diminish. It is more... hurt and anger.. and survival. They survive. It angered me and broke my heart. I could not understand how a government, no... how people, can watch their own live in such poverty. Joel told me that he would explain it to me the day he comes understand it himself.

I had the opportunity to visit the statue of Christ. A year ago, a few weeks before being saved, I had sat under this immense statue and just stared at it for what seemed like an hour. It was overwhelming to go back with a complete different understanding....
"I now know you. Thank you."

I also visited a church. As I walked directly to the cross, everyone stopped first to pray to Mary. They call her the Patron Saint of Cuba, the Virgin of Charity. (For more info and history http://www.sacred-destinations.com/cuba/el-cobre.htm) This brought on conversations about the Pope, saints, Mary and of course Jesus...in broken spanish, I shared my beliefs. Why not speak directly to the source? Why not directly speak with Jesus?

Other than Catholicism, many Cubans follow Santeria (Way of the Saints) an Afro-Caribbean religion with some Roman Catholic elements added. We did not talk too much about it. Nor am I really comfortable looking into it too much right now. All I know is that is is a religion that grew out of the slave trade in Cuba and often times involves ritual dancing and sacrifice. Its a mix of Catholic beliefs and African ritual.
Ahi na ma. (Enough about that. That's it.)

Ironically, Joel went around testifying for me. Opening doors. Somehow, he always seemed to tell others about my faith.
We had many conversations and I had the opportunity to share my love for Christ, my story and my journey.

Joel's family showed me so much love. I spent much time with them and never did they treat me with anything less than respect and love. In the past few days, God has truly blessed me and in turn his family.. Joel's brother Randy has diabetes. They explained to me that in Cuba, it is impossible to purchase a blood sugar monitor nor the strips-they just don't exist. He owns an old kit that was given to him by a tourist and is quickly running out of strips. Once all the strips are done, he will have to resort to peeing in a cup, putting a liquid in it and then placing it over a fire. The color it changes to determines his sugar level. I promised, I would do my best to get him strips by my next trip planned almost 6 months away.

God decided otherwise... I never read magazines... but this week I flipped through a magazine and the pages fell open to an inserted coupon available only in Canadian pharmacies for a FREE Blood sugar monitoring kit with the purchase of strips. I now have 200 strips, the lancets and kit for Randy. If that is not amazing enough, a client I met a year ago in Cuba came to see me at the bank for a loan.. He is off to Cuba next week and is staying at Joel's resort!! Since I had helped him with his impossible mortgage a year ago.. he had no problems carrying stuff to Cuba for me. All coincidence. Nothing but a blessing.

I spoke with one man who twice tried to escape Cuba. The first time, he sold everything he owned to buy an engine for the boat. It collapsed in the ocean and he had to swim back to shore. The second time, he was stopped by the police before even reaching the water. Imagine... if we are unhappy with the place where we live.. we have the freedom to pack up, leave and start over.. They can only 'escape'.
He finally came to terms with his life and is now working in tourism.

I discussed the reputation Cubans have concerning marrying tourists in order to get out of Cuba. It does happen. One man married a woman from Italy.. leaving his country and family behind.. only to be treated as prisoner by his new wife. She finally let him leave, and he came home to Cuba.
Many people around the world get married for the wrong reasons. Nonetheless, those who married for love, are still together.. in Cuba and abroad.

We were very lucky that that throughout our trip, not once were we approached by la policia. It is not uncommon for the police to walk up to a Cuban in the street ask for his id card should he be walking with someone who looks like or is a tourist. They verify that the Cuban is not a jinatero (escort or prostitute). I saw some extremely young girls approaching much older tourists. It is disgusting that an old man would take advantage of such a dire situation.

Everyone in Cuba has a way to make money on the side. Not out of greed.. they simply have to. A hotel worker will steal forks from the hotel, sell them to someone who turns them into jewelry to sell in the market. A bartender will sell you a bottle from the bar. A doctor will take money from a hotel entertainer to write up a fake prescription in order for them to get a few days off (Joel...for example... paid for a very bad kidney infection last week).

Speaking of infections... I started a fever on the Wednesday night. My glands began to swell the next morning. My foot was twice it's size by friday. We rushed back to Varadero in the middle of Friday night, again by car, in order for me to get medical attention by Saturday morning. I had been bitten badly by mosquitos and ended up with a nasty infection. I can only imagine the fear of the driver who must have thought he had a Canadian dying in the backseat of his car!! At a certain point, Joel later told me, he actually had to ask the guy to slow down!!
Even after 7 injections and crutches... I have nothing bad to say about the experience. The nurse and doctor were amazing. At least.. I was able to experience their medical system. Even in those moments, we found reasons to laugh.

I am so grateful for this trip. It surpassed all of my expectations.
I will cherish the memories and continue praying for the people of Cuba.

Early one morning, as we spent a quiet moment looking out at Cuba from the balcony ... After spending the previous days visiting the slums, the dirty streets...after shedding tears for their lack of freedom...after seeing the injustice and great poverty...

I told Joel..
"Even after all I have seen... I still love Cuba."

He answered quietly.....
"Me too."