Awareness

Realized today as I walked down the street.. the same street I have walked up and down for the past two years.. how aware I was.
Aware of the fact that my feet were on the same pavement they have always walked but also aware that I was not walking in the same world I was before.
Or at least it feels like it... It is the same world... but now I am aware.

I see things I have always seen in a whole different light.. and I see things I would never even imagine seeing.
I see the good.. the immense, beautiful, unbelievable good.
And I see the darkness.

Although it's a gift, awareness is not always easy to bear.
I am aware of my actions, the consequences, I recognize my emotions, my shortcomings, my talents.
It is not always pleasant to see it all. Because sometimes you see things you know you must deal with and know it would have been a much easier route to walk blindly.

I don't just live... I see.
And from what I see.. I must learn.