Last weekend a great friend of mine and I went out. Before the night began, we had prayed that God show us what He wanted us to see and that He surround us with angels because my friend has such a heart for Montreal and it's people. So where better to go than the heart of downtown Montreal to gain perspective on this city..
My heart is not at the same place. I'm not sure if it is a bad thing to say.. although I care for people in this city and would gladly help her on her Montreal mission.. it is not my passion. It is not what makes my heart break to pieces. Oh..I just feel horrible saying that. I guess, I just feel like God places different heartbreaks on different peoples hearts cause one person can't do it all, and we each have a place and mission of our own.. all for the greater good of this world.. all in the name of Jesus.
Anyways, that being said.. we met a man named Toby on the street. He was standing on the sidewalk begging for money with a handwritten "beer fund" sign in his hands. We passed him once and then on the way to the car passed him again. Something about this 'Toby'.. something inside me just told me to not ignore this man.
So, I reached into my purse.
HA, at that point, my friend told me "You aren't really going to fund his addiction are you????"
I said; "No... I'm going to buy a prayer"
Now, I am sure the small change I gave him made no big dent in his 'beer fund'.. but it did open the door.. He let me pray over him!!
Anyone that knows me well, knows that it is very difficult for me to pray out loud. I do pray..ALOT.. but mostly in writing. My journal is more a collection of prayers and discussions with God than anything else..
This is what makes me beleive that the words I prayed over Toby where not my own, but God's wish for him. God wanted this man to know that He loves him and that he could change his life and bring him true joy, hope and LIFE.
Afterwards, we got a little insight as he told us a bit about his life. He has been living on the streets for the past ten years, begs for money (sometimes just out of lack of having anything else to do), and hear this, muffled under his breath, is somewhat getting tired of it..
We then encountered a deaf-mute elderly man sitting on the pavement. He was desperately making signs to drop change into his baseball cap. So.. I took out more change, squatted beside him and put my hands together and 'signed' to him that I was going to pray for him. Again, the words just came.. What was beautiful to see was that as I blurted out my prayer close into his ear.. he calmed down, stopped signing for change for a moment, pulled hard at his earlobe, closed his eyes.. and listened.
All of the praise and glory goes to Jesus. If it weren't for God..haha, there is no way I would be praying out loud that night. It is awesome that God would use a stranger to tell these men how much he loves them. That He would use a mule like me to talk. That without even my realizing it.. I was praying over men on a busy downtown sidewalk..words flowing out of my mouth.
JESUS you are truly awesome!! Thank you so much for letting me be a part of your conversation with the world that night.
Once home though, I couldn't fall asleep. All I could think was how great it would have been to have a place to bring this man. It got me thinking about how sad it is that our churches are closed most of the week and that the 'safest places on earth' are closed during the most dangerous times of the night. I started imagining people, broken, desperate, lost... thinking their last hope may lay in the hands God..crying at the door of a church.. courageously pulling at the door..only to realize.. it's doors are locked.
I guess that is why God sends his church out into the world. We just have to make sure we don't lock the door...
