Little one. Silent one. Do you know your design speaks to the hand of God?

7 weeks or so...
I still cannot believe it. This little life inside. I am so thankful for this beautiful gift and great responsibility.
I was given this life. I keep thinking about how amazing it is that even before Joel and I began to plan, our little life was already in God's plans.
God chose us to be this little one's parents & family. It is overwhelming to think and completly floors me.
GOD I AM SO GRATEFUL!
I am so amazed...


God... I am so amazed..

Already 6 to 8 weeks in, my baby's heart has begun to beat and blood has begun to circulate throughout his body. His umbilical cord will start to form, as will his head, eyes, intestines and liver.

God..
You made all the delicate, inner parts of this body and knit it together in my womb. Thank you for making my little one so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous -how well I know it. You watch as my little one is being formed in utter seclusion, as my little one is woven together in my dark womb. You see my little one before he or she is born. Every day of my little one's life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (From Psalm 139)

Lord, Thank you. Thank you for my little one. Please help me protect this little life inside of me. Keep this baby safe and healthy Lord.

From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God.

Ranting...

I'm angry. And I need an outlet.

Was reminded of my blog today. The existence of it. With this reminder, I experienced, just as I have been for a while now, a tinge of guilt for not blogging more. For not capturing the good, the bad, the struggles and sometimes even the silence...

So even though, my return is an angry one.. I'm here, I'm back.

I don't like feeling this way. I was in a very heated discussion..ok..honestly, it turned into a downright screaming argument..with my condo association. I am angry that they are either lying now, or were lying two months ago..either way..at some point they lied.

I prayed beforehand.. but it definitely didn't turn out the way I prayed for.. SIGH............

I need to relieve this feeling on my chest.. of anger.. and disappointment..and anger..and anger..

........
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Last week... exhale...
Last week was an amazing week. I felt revival. I felt closer to God than I have in a while. It was an answer to much prayer and yearning. And it involved more and more prayer.

On tuesday I had a small group over. There was transparency in the air, open heart and confession. And although there was much darkness divulged, I would rather see darkness brought to light than it mulling up in someone's heart. I would rather the lies of the enemy be said out loud where we can rebuke them than to let them continue being whispered into someone's ear. It was a good night. A very good night. And I know God was amongst us.

I also had a group of girls over this saturday for prayer. We prayed big prayers. We prayed many prayers. We prayed more so for others than for our own struggles..Many tears flowed as we prayed for the men in our lives. It was a good morning. A very good morning.

Yesterday, I prayed before Westside. I prayed for every heart standing before me. I prayed that God meet them whereever they may be on their walk..that He meet them right there. And I meant it with all my heart.
I also worshipped fully and wholeheartedly and it felt awesome. I did not want it to end. I was on fire. God filled my spirit.
As we took communion, I meditated on Jesus' blood, washing over my sins. I felt cleansed and renewed by the blood of Christ. I thanked Him. I thanked Him for His sacrifice, for His grace, for His blood, for His love for me.
The message, Rooted in Love, reminded me that God still spoke to me. And that I still hear him. The verse Dave gave us..I had given (modified) to someone a few days before she passed away..

"This is my daughter whom I love; with her I am well pleased."

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Yes.. it was a good Sunday. A very good sunday.

...

Now, I sit here monday night..ready to finish the questions for my new small group beginning tomorrow. We are studying Joshua and I'm very excited to see what God has planned for this group. There are many new faces and much restoration needed. I can't wait to see what God will do!!!!!!!

I am so thankful for the week I just had..and for the week ahead.

All in all.. It's been a good night. A very good night. I know God is still with me. :)