Church and community

"The church is not something additional or optional. It is at the very heart of God's purposes. Jesus came to create a people who would model what it means to live under His rule. It would be a glorious outpost of the kingdom of God, an embassy of heaven.

This is where the world can see what it truly means to be human. Our identity as human beings is found in community. Our identity as Christians is found in Christ's new community. And our mission takes place through communities of light." - Tim Chester and Steve Timmis

Prayer meeting

Joined Westside for prayer this evening. It was invigorating and refreshing.

Praying for others and prayers of thankfulness and gratitude definitely made me feel closer to God tonight.

My husband.

It is 7am and Joel has just left for a new job. It is a temporary position with a kitchen accessory store. He somehow managed to make a deal with the manager to work for them sporadic days in order to still be able to look for a better job.

I am thankful that this woman gave him this opportunity.

I have never met a more determined man. He does not let things get him down for too long and just keeps pushing forward. Although still within reason, he dreams much bigger than I do. This is slowly teaching me to let go and to beleive that big dreams through hard work could 'possibly' be attainable (I'm working on it.)

There are times where I overhear Joel being interviewed over the phone in french (which he only began speaking last year) and am so proud. I am so so proud and in awe. I put myself in his shoes and it sends a pang straight to my heart.

I am so thankful for Joel. I pray for the right opportunities to open up before him, that we continue to trust that we are simply in waiting and that God is preparing him for that 'perfect' job. I pray that God bring his dreams to fruition.

Love.

As I search to be closer to Jesus and as I pray to have more faith, I am often drawn to all of the blessings he has brought to my life. I am thankful because I have truly been so so blessed in the past 3 years.

Nonetheless, I am now searching beyond those memories. I want to be thankful to God for who He is.. beyond all that He has done for me.

I am searching to love Him with a deeper love. I want to love Him simply because of who He is, who He has been and who He will always be.

Waiting....

As I wait on news from a company on whether or not my husband got the job..I hold on to the promise that God made me.

He provides.
In His time.
When we have faith.

Over and over again, God has reminded me that He will always come through. The result is not always what is expected, which that in itself is sometimes hard to accept. Nonetheless, looking back... God has had providence in my life.

I pray more than anything.. for more faith. To trust that whatever may come, God has it all under control.

A pause to remember..

June 16th. Without fail, a day every year where I am reminded of all that God has done and how great He is.. A day where I look back and reflect. An anniversary which allows me the time to pause for a moment and thank God.

"Give thanks to the Lord and pray to him.
Tell the nations what he has done.
Sing to him; sing praises to him.
Tell about all his miracles.
Be glad that you are his;
Let those who seek the Lord be happy.
Depend on the Lord and his strength;
always go to him for help.
Remember the miracles he has done;
remember his wonders and his decisions.
You are descendants of his servant Abraham,
the children of Jacob, his chosen people.
He is the Lord our God.
His laws are for all the world.
He will keep his agreement forever;
He will keep his promises always."

Psalm 105: 1-8 NCV.

God provides

This is an image of one of my first trips to Cuba. At the time, I thought that the amount of stuff I was bringing down was alot.. Throughout the years, it has multiplied and God has always provided.





In the past years, I have had more than one missionary couple help me along the way. One trip, I received 4 garbage bags of brand new tshirts. Another time, a client dropped off all of his childrens' old toys.


Every time, God has provided, He has always made it possible to bring the gifts down and has always gotten me through customs.


It is my ongoing prayer that God continue pressing me towards Cuba... a few months ago I wrote:
" Take my dreams. Lord give them wings. Lord with you, there's nothing I cannot do. Lord give me the conviction to continue. Lord rearrange all circumstances and push me back.."


And He has.. financially, with perfect timing, and through donations galore.. He is giving me the conviction to continue and arranging all circumstances pushing me back.


These trips for Cuba (and the preparation for them) are the moments in my life that bring me the greatest joy. I would love to spend my life collecting and giving.

Looking back at the picture above and now standing amongst today's donations (below)... it's just amazing to see where God has brought me.




I have to admit.. I am nervous about this trip. It's a good thing though..it keeps me trusting God. Trusting that all this stuff will fit into my suitcases, that I will be within the allowable weight and that He get us through customs. Trusting that every piece brought down has its purpose and that He will guide us as we find its recipients.. Trsuting that He put this all on my heart and that He is always at work. Trusting He will teach me, remind me, help me bring Him glory through it all.



(If you read this blog before our return May 3rd.. please keep us in prayer. THANKS!!!!!!!!)

On my heart.

God,
you are so good to me.

Thank you Jesus.

Little one. Silent one. Do you know your design speaks to the hand of God?

7 weeks or so...
I still cannot believe it. This little life inside. I am so thankful for this beautiful gift and great responsibility.
I was given this life. I keep thinking about how amazing it is that even before Joel and I began to plan, our little life was already in God's plans.
God chose us to be this little one's parents & family. It is overwhelming to think and completly floors me.
GOD I AM SO GRATEFUL!
I am so amazed...


God... I am so amazed..

Already 6 to 8 weeks in, my baby's heart has begun to beat and blood has begun to circulate throughout his body. His umbilical cord will start to form, as will his head, eyes, intestines and liver.

God..
You made all the delicate, inner parts of this body and knit it together in my womb. Thank you for making my little one so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous -how well I know it. You watch as my little one is being formed in utter seclusion, as my little one is woven together in my dark womb. You see my little one before he or she is born. Every day of my little one's life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (From Psalm 139)

Lord, Thank you. Thank you for my little one. Please help me protect this little life inside of me. Keep this baby safe and healthy Lord.

From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God.

Ranting...

I'm angry. And I need an outlet.

Was reminded of my blog today. The existence of it. With this reminder, I experienced, just as I have been for a while now, a tinge of guilt for not blogging more. For not capturing the good, the bad, the struggles and sometimes even the silence...

So even though, my return is an angry one.. I'm here, I'm back.

I don't like feeling this way. I was in a very heated discussion..ok..honestly, it turned into a downright screaming argument..with my condo association. I am angry that they are either lying now, or were lying two months ago..either way..at some point they lied.

I prayed beforehand.. but it definitely didn't turn out the way I prayed for.. SIGH............

I need to relieve this feeling on my chest.. of anger.. and disappointment..and anger..and anger..

........
.....

Last week... exhale...
Last week was an amazing week. I felt revival. I felt closer to God than I have in a while. It was an answer to much prayer and yearning. And it involved more and more prayer.

On tuesday I had a small group over. There was transparency in the air, open heart and confession. And although there was much darkness divulged, I would rather see darkness brought to light than it mulling up in someone's heart. I would rather the lies of the enemy be said out loud where we can rebuke them than to let them continue being whispered into someone's ear. It was a good night. A very good night. And I know God was amongst us.

I also had a group of girls over this saturday for prayer. We prayed big prayers. We prayed many prayers. We prayed more so for others than for our own struggles..Many tears flowed as we prayed for the men in our lives. It was a good morning. A very good morning.

Yesterday, I prayed before Westside. I prayed for every heart standing before me. I prayed that God meet them whereever they may be on their walk..that He meet them right there. And I meant it with all my heart.
I also worshipped fully and wholeheartedly and it felt awesome. I did not want it to end. I was on fire. God filled my spirit.
As we took communion, I meditated on Jesus' blood, washing over my sins. I felt cleansed and renewed by the blood of Christ. I thanked Him. I thanked Him for His sacrifice, for His grace, for His blood, for His love for me.
The message, Rooted in Love, reminded me that God still spoke to me. And that I still hear him. The verse Dave gave us..I had given (modified) to someone a few days before she passed away..

"This is my daughter whom I love; with her I am well pleased."

.

Yes.. it was a good Sunday. A very good sunday.

...

Now, I sit here monday night..ready to finish the questions for my new small group beginning tomorrow. We are studying Joshua and I'm very excited to see what God has planned for this group. There are many new faces and much restoration needed. I can't wait to see what God will do!!!!!!!

I am so thankful for the week I just had..and for the week ahead.

All in all.. It's been a good night. A very good night. I know God is still with me. :)