In the Midst of It All

Although I would rather not feel another heartache ever again, in the midst of it all, I can't stop thinking about what I will gain from it. I truly believe that a broken heart is an opportunity for us to lean into God, a moment where our heart is open to the brokenness inside & around us.It is a reminder that, in the midst of it all, God is waiting open arms to receive and hear our cries.

It reminds me about having idols in our lives and how sometimes, these idols, although amazing, will never replace the incomparable unconditional love of God. It reminds me to trust in Him, to keep my eyes and heart on Him not only in my valleys but as well on my mountain tops. To continually praise Him. He will sustain me. He will restore my heart. He is the only who is the same yesterday, today and forever. He does not change.

As my heart ripped open once more and the pain radiated thru my chest, I couldn't help but think of all of the trials I have faced in my life and how they have changed me. I think they have made me more empathetic, compassionate towards others and much less likely to judge. Every person has their battles, some bigger than others. Every person has faced heartache at one time or another. Some have heardened their hearts, not willing to trust again, not wanting to risk the pain of another heartache.

For myself, I pray I learn and grow from this. I pray this pain brings more healing. I pray that my actions speak nothing but grace and humility; that I not react from a place of hurt, may I not retaliate in anger.  May God be glorified. If it brings someone to wonder- who is this God she always relies upon for comfort?
...then the pain is a blessing and I should count it all as joy, even, in the midst of it all.


2 Corinthians 1:3-7
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

Hello from the village 🖐

Hi all,
It's been quite some time since I've blogged. This post is more of a letter to all of you who have been asking about my wellbeing and about how I have been since my big move to my little village of Lancaster, Ont.

I am happy. I can honestly say that I am happy. Although I still struggle with my ups and downs & at moments felt panic settle in, I am all in all happy.
As I drive in to work, I am surrounded by the beauty of the sunrise and picture perfect trees and land. It really is beautiful here and an amazing start to every day.
 I drive about 20 minutes to work in the city of Cornwall. There is no traffic and I don't feel the urgency and stress I felt in the city.

My work is definitely challenging but I am surrounded by one of the best teams I have ever encountered. I don't say this lightly..I truly work with a group of girls that know what is required of them and do it gladly. There is a commeradery beyond anything I have ever seen at any other branch. People are genuinely glad for each other's successes and are willing to help each other succeed.
I already feel at home in my office and meeting clients all day long is refreshing. I have met such interesting people!

People. People are so friendly. It baffles me at times, like how friendly the drive thru attendant at Tim Horton's is, every single time. How can I not have a good day after a genuinely friendly hello and an extra large black coffee in hand?

Obviously life is not only pretty scenery and happy people. It does come with some struggles. I have had insomnia for the past week or so (hence the black eyes) - not sure why...but thinking my happy Timmy's may have something to do with it.
I am also struggling with my weight. My medication has definitely ravaged my body and I struggle with how I perceive myself.

The most difficult part about moving has been church. I have yet to find a community that fits. I am confused with denominations and what each entails. I don't like 'church hopping' in search of a home and am finding it very hard to not have community. (Westside, I know you're a skip away..Ill be visiting soon. Please pray 2 things for me... That I find a church and that I remember my worth in God's eyes).

As for the boys...they have adjusted well! I am excited for this cold to pass so we can spend more time outdoors. Their school is awesome and the homework is manageable. (Yay!)
They are glad to have their cousin close and I am happy that they get to grow up together.

We are obviously anxious to have our forever home and our own little space in the country but God bless my mom for taking us in for now. We have adjusted to life together and have settled in a fairly regular routine and rhythm.

Thanks to those who have asked how I have been...thank you for thinking of me and checking in -All in all, overall, I am ok. I'm hanging on to this whirlwind called life and relishing in the beautiful moments it brings me.

Love ya loads.
Cin